Abuse is an ugly word either way you look at it, and the relationships that are embedded with abuse are even more disdainful.
How do we find ourselves in these types of relationships? Why do we keep returning to them as though we are gluttons for self-injurious behavior? Does it have you questioning your goodness? Your choices?
Being kind, forgiving, and loving is a choice, so is being abusive.
For me, it’s because I try to see the best in people, everyone in my life, but there have been times and moments, even recently where I find myself reaching for a life preserver and contemplating eradicating these types of relationships from my life.
Abusive relationships come in all shapes and sizes: some are physical, some are familial, some are emotional, some are romantic, some are spiritual, and some are friendship. But abuse is abuse, no matter the vein, breadth, or canvas of it.
I have had a good number of abusive relationships in my life. When I give speeches, I talk explicitly about some of them, using “cookies and poison” as metaphors for the types of relationships in my life. We all have poisonous relationships in our lives. That’s just life. But we have to make certain that we don’t let our “cookies” touch our “poison.” If we mix then together our “cookies” become contaminated, but our “poison” is still toxic to our health; it doesn’t absorb any of the sweet contents from our “cookies.”
Abusive relationships are challenges we will inevitably deal with in some modality, and we have to keep them separate from our “cookies”, but at some point, we have to purge these toxicities from our life altogether.
Or, at the very least, we need to set boundaries, so that the “poison” doesn’t eek over into the other parts of our life.
Goodbyes aren’t ever easy, and I’m no better at them than you are. What are some of the poisonous relationships in your life that you feel you need to set boundaries or purge from your life?
Please enjoy this video of a poem from my current book project, titled, “Human Services” about a relationship I just can’t quit because in other facets of life, it is essential for me.
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Peace, love, and guidance be with you.
Mr. C.
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